Kid's Depression (Kid x Maka) Chapter 3

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    Kid's Pov:

       I was angry. No. Not angry. I was furious and confused. How come I'm still breathing? Why must I live? Why does life hate me? Who saved me? Did they actually care? Or did they just want praise that they just saved Lord death's only child? One thing Im sure of is that it is a for sure that they wanted praise. I don't want to feel so numb. I want to actually have freedom. Throw away all those human feelings and fear. Crush those metal knifes and razors that rip my flesh and be brave. Like Maka. Such bravery. Why can't I be like that? Oh yeah. I'm weak. People wouldn't expect a shinigami to say that but its true. I hate my weakness. I stopped crying a long time ago. Its not that I'm strong. Im too weak to show the emotions of tears. Sometimes it feels as if it will burst out of my body. I scream for help but no one helps me. I'm sick of being ignored and being compared to the soft stroke of wind. I'm not a stranger. It is okay though. You're lying and you know it.

"Kid!", yelled Maka. I almost forgot about them. I saw my father and spirit. Dang it. Sigh. How am I supposed to explain to them?

"Uh... sorry?, I said nervously. Can she sense my anxious soul? I scratched my head nervously. Sweat came down my face. Did they notice that too?
 
"Kid what happened?! Please explain why you came off a building! Who were the monsters who did this?!",Father said anxiously. He clearly wanted to know. What a liar. He doesn't really care. I know it. Too bad I have to lie to their faces.

     I silently sat down, and taking a interest in the floor. My hair covered my face as I looked on the cement. It was extremely quiet. It seemed like minutes until a opening of the door made us look over. My 'friends' were at the entrance. It was surprising. They were quiet. It wasn't ever like that. Did father call them over here or something? 

"Hey..why is Kid over here?", yelled Black star. He frowned. Maybe he was mad I was still alive. Most definitely.

      Maka started to explain and I was still interested in the ground. I didn't need them to see me weak. Right after she was finished, my 'friends' started to yell at me to know who did this and why. I ignored. Thats when everyone in the room started to yell. 
      Why can't I just be able to stop breathing. I was highly close to smash the mirror across my face. That's when I just couldn't take it anymore. Why?! WHY ME?! I'M TALKING TO YOU BASTARD WORLD! LISTEN TO ME!! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY?!! DO YOU HAVE A DISLIKE IN ME OR SOMETHING?! IS IT BECAUSE I'M A OCD FREAK?! OR AM I SO EASY TO MANIPULATE?! HEAR MY WORDS! I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU!! Tears started to form in my eyes. My head was literally burning from anger. More tears feel started to drip down my hot cheeks. I could still hear the yelling. I looked up at their faces. They were extremely surprised to see tears and anger.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!! THE MONSTER IS ME! I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF SO I COULD BE FREE AND NOT FEEL NUMB ANYMORE ,OKAY?! I HATE MYSELF! IM JUST A STUPID OCD FREAK THAT SHOULD BE GETTING RID OF!!, I yelled. I toke I few breaths in. I never felt this much anger in my life. I whipped my tears with my sleeve.

    That's when everyone turned quiet. Tears started to appear from their eyes. Dammit! I don't want their pity! I turned to walk away but then a arm stopped me. It was Maka and she didn't look that happy. 

"Dont leave Kid..we can help you..", she whispered. Guilt. It was rubbed all over her face. I pulled her arm away but she didn't budge. My coat wasn't on me so she technically seemed like she wanted to pull of my long sleeved suit. Then Liz and the rest pulled on the other arm, my right, and tried to convince me to stay too. I again told them no but they kept pulling on me. Then I heard a rip. My shirt completely came off. So I was technically half naked. 
        Traumatized looks came my way. More tears seemed to drop. I didn't understand why though. .Even father had tears dripping. What were they looking at?! Oh. That explains it. Deep scars from razors ripped in my skin everywhere. I had also stopped eating so I was a skinny enough that you could see my ribcage. The scars were on my stomach and arms and a little on my neck. They finally realized how terrible reality is. And how life can push you to the lengths that make you break. How strange it is for a piece of metal to be my best friend.